Out of the Past
by Eternal Headache
Summary: One year ago, JD Dunne quit his job and disappeared. Now, Vin Tanner has tracked him down and means to discover just what, or who, JD is running from. *ABANDONED. AT LEAST UNTIL I FIND MY LOVE FOR M7 AGAIN*
1. Prolouge

Hey all! So all I've done so far have been little one parters. Here I am with my first multi parter. Hopefully, one of several. Big HUGE thanks to Lisa C for her beta help! This is still a work in progress, but I really wanted to share what I have so far, so here we go.

Disclaimer: Mag 7 does not belong to me. Very sad. Credit for the ATF AU goes to Mog.

Title: Out of the Past

Author: Lanna  
Email:  
Category: Gen  
Universe: ATF  
Main Characters: JD/Seven  
Rating/Warning: Um, I'm putting this as a mature rating due to mentions of child abuse/murder along with mentions of animal cruelty. Plus language and violence.  
Summary: One year ago, JD Dunne quit his job and disappeared. Now, Vin Tanner has tracked him down and means to discover just what, or who, JD is running from.

Out of the Past

Prologue

Los Angeles, California: Present time:

Vin Tanner was a patient man. Being an ex bounty hunter, Army Ranger and current ATF agent, he had to be. But he was starting to get a little restless, sitting in his rental car, staking out the building across the street-something he had been doing all day now-waiting for his target to show himself. Waiting for the man that he and the rest of Team 7 had spent the last year searching for, and hoping that this wasn't yet another dead end. There had been a lot of dead ends and, as disheartening as they were, the team were not will willing to give up until they found the man they sought and got answers.

Until they found JD Dunne.

A year earlier, Team 7's youngest member had started behaving strangely in the wake of a call from an old friend back east. A few weeks later, he had suddenly quit his job, left a video message saying goodbye and asking that they not look for him, and disappeared. Though not completely, it seemed. On the third month anniversary of his leaving, all their computers had suddenly gone blank at the exact same time for a period of five seconds, only to come back on with the message, "I'm okay," in large, bold letters. The message had stayed there for a total of ten seconds before the screens went black again and then returned to normal. The incident was repeated again on the sixth month anniversary and again at the one year mark just a couple of weeks ago.

Tech support had been in a tizzy trying to trace the source to no avail. JD was just too good to allow himself to be tracked electronically.

Sighing, Vin looked at the scan of the newspaper article he had with him. The caption read, 'Securetek Industries Celebrates Fifteen Years of Top Security Performance.' Below the headline was a picture featuring a group of proudly smiling people. Well, all but one was smiling. On the edge of the group, bearing a circle around him, was a young man with black hair well past his shoulders and thick glasses. He stared at the camera, clearly uncomfortable with having his picture taken. While the others had been identified by first and last name, the young man was identified only as 'Kyle.'

Vin received the scan in an email two days earlier from an old bounty hunter friend, Karl Stanley. After JD disappeared, the remaining men, disregarding his request not to look for him, sent his picture out to every contact, friend and associate they could think of, asking that they be contacted immediately with any and all information. Between the six of them, they had pretty much the whole country covered, avoiding the media just in case JD had been in some kind of trouble, based on what had gone on.

Karl Stanley was a retired hunter living in L.A. In the email he sent the article in, he said, 'Vin, long time, boy! Hope you've stayed sharp! I picked up the paper yesterday and saw this article. Call me crazy, but the kid I've circled looks like he could be the one you're looking for. His hair is longer and he's wearing glasses, but he might be worth checking out. Don't be a stranger, kid! Drop me a ling some time! Would love to hear for you. Karl.'

Vin smiled a little as he thought of the old hunter. The man was a legend among Bounty Hunters, one who Vin had the honor of spending some time with back when he was hunting. The man was right. The kid in the picture certainly could be JD. But then, so could the young men in many of the other pictures they had received over the year. Having kept that in mind, Vin had printed the email off and gone into Chris' office to discuss it with him. They decided that Vin would go check it out, but that they wouldn't tell the others. All the dead ends were beginning to take their toll and they feared that Buck, in particular, wouldn't be able to handle another one that looked so promising. So, Vin had taken the first flight out, only telling the others that he was going to visit a sick friend. That way, if it didn't pan out, they would be spared that terrible pain of disappointment over yet another failure.

Arriving in Los Angeles yesterday, he found the address of the Securetek the article was about and spent the current day watching and waiting. And waiting...and waiting. It was now close to five in the afternoon, and Vin was starting to wonder if he would have to come back for another go tomorrow, when the building door opened and the object of his stake out emerged, a ball cap jammed on his head.

Vin quickly slouched further down in his seat, watching as his target glanced quickly around, then started off down the street. He waited a moment, then got out of the car and crossed the street, following at a discreet distance. They ended up at a parking garage a couple of blocks away and he took up a position, waiting to see what his target came out in. A few minutes later, the young man emerged driving a familiar looking crotch rocket that set Vin's heart pounding.

Knowing that it could just be a coincidence, that there were thousands of bikes just like that all over the country, Vin quickly memorized the plate, then made his way back to his car. Grabbing the laptop he brought with him, he got online and logged into the ATF Database. Finding the tool he needed, he entered the plate number and, a moment later, up popped the information that he needed.

"Kyle Daniels. 122 Kentwood Drive North East, apt 402," Vin read out loud. He eyes were drawn to the picture and he clicked on it, a smile crossing his lips as a nice, big, full color picture popped up. "Gotcha now, kid," he whispered. Calling up a map, he studied the directions, then put the computer aside and pulled into traffic, heading for his next destination.

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He pulled up outside an apartment complex a half hour later. He sat for a few minutes, studying the area, then got out and went up to the front door, scanning the names on the buzzer board and confirming that 'Kyle' was indeed in 402. Figuring it was unlikely that the kid would let him if he buzzed, and not wanting to spook him, Vin decided to wait and see if an opportunity presented itself. Returning to the car, he settled in for another wait, which turned out not to be very long. About forty minutes later, Vin watched as a pizza delivery car pulled up, and decided to take a chance.

Hurrying across the street, he called out, "Hey kid! you here for 402?"

The delivery boy looked up and nodded, and Vin smiled. "Great. What do I owe you?"

"Fifteen ten," the kid replied with a quick glance at the bill.

Vin pulled out a twenty, told the kid to keep the change, then took the pizza and headed for the door. He buzzed the unit and a moment later, JD's voice filtered out. "Yes?"

"Pizza," Vin answered, doing his best to disguise his voice. The door unlocked and Vin headed in, taking the elevator up to the fourth flood and easily finding 402. Raising the box to hide his face, he knocked on the door, raising an eyebrow as he heard JD call out, "Who is it?"

"Pizza!" Vin answered.

There was a pause, followed by the sound of several locks turning, then the door opened slowly and JD quietly asked, "What do I owe you?"

Lowering the box, Vin said, "Nothing. It's on me." He watched JD freeze, his mouth opening in shock, eyes widening behind the large glasses, and couldn't help the little smile that crossed his lips. "Hello, JD. Long time no see, kid."


	2. Chapter 1

Part 1

Denver Co. One year earlier:

Vin watched curiously as JD Dunne stared at Buck Wilmington, who was taking a little catnap, feet up on his desk, snoring softly. A wicked little smirk played across JD's lips and he very carefully and quietly opened his desk drawer, pulling out a white container, his gaze never leaving Buck. Moving with admirable stealth, JD slipped around the desk and behind Buck. Opening the container, JD removed a scoop filled with the container's contents.

Vin bit his lip hard to keep from laughing as JD proceeded to sprinkle Buck's hair with glittery sparkles. After giving Buck a good coating, JD reached into his pocket and pulled out a sticky bow, gently applying it to Buck's now glittering hair. Finished with the set up of his little prank, JD slipped back to his desk, putting the container back in the drawer while keeping careful eyes on Buck. The older agent didn't move an inch and JD grinned widely until he saw Vin watching him. When Vin winked at him, the grin returned full force and it was all Vin could do not to burst out laughing.

His attention was pulled to Chris' door as it opened and their leader stepped out, pausing and raising an eyebrow when he saw Buck. The four of them were currently the only ones in the office. The remaining three members of the team had been summoned to testify in various court cases, but were expected back any time now. As JD quickly and innocently turned his attention to his computer, Vin smirked and held up a finger to his lips, signaling Chris to keep quiet. The blond rolled his eyes and continued on to the break room, coming back a few minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee. He disappeared back into his office, keeping the door open this time, Vin noted with amusement.

It wasn't long before their remaining teammates returned, the noise of their arrival waking Buck, who yawned and stretched but did not abandon his lazy position. "Howdy boys," he called out. "How was court?"

Josiah, Nathan and Ezra looked toward Buck and stopped as one, staring at the ladies man with raised eyebrows.

"Uh, something wrong?" Buck asked, eyes darting about the room before returning to his friends.

"Is there something you would like to share with us, Mr. Wilmington?" Ezra answered, touching his hair when Buck's expression grew confused.

Buck frowned and reached up, discovered something resting on his head and pulled the bow down. He stared at it for a few seconds, then looked up, eyes moving from Vin to JD and back again, noting the innocent expressions both younger men wore before bursting out laughing.

"Hell boys! I already know I'm a gift to women! And so do they," he added with a little leer. "Don't really need the visual aid."

Snickers filled the room and Ezra smirked as he said, "Perhaps you should find a mirror, Mr. Wilmington," before turning and heading for his desk.

Buck frowned and tossed a suspicious look at Vin and JD, once again getting innocent looks in return before he stood and headed down the hall to the bathroom. JD snickered and softly counted out loud, "5...4...3...2..."

From the bathroom came a horrified yell, followed by a bellowed, "Tanner and or JD! I'm gonna kill one or both of you little rats!"

All eyes turned to Vin, who held up his hands and said, "Don't look at me. I'm just an observer on this one."

With Vin's denial of responsibility, all eyes turned to JD, who sat with an unconcerned smirk on his lips as he waited for Buck to come storming back. A moment later, the enraged man made his appearance, but before he could say or do anything, JD held up a hand and said, "Remember the pudding incident last week, Buck? I don't think I need to say more."

Surprise flashed through Buck's eyes and his jaw fell open as he stared at the smirking kid. After a moment, he sighed and nodded, the hint of a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Chris!" he called. "Gonna head downstairs and take a shower!" Without waiting for a response, he turned and headed back down the hall toward the elevator.

JD grinned as the others laughed, and turned his attention back to his computer. Hopefully, this would be the end of the pranks for a while. Or the start of a war that would inevitably pull one or more of the others in and escalate until Chris finally blew a gasket and threatened to inflict the next prankster with severe bodily harm. Yeah, that's probably what would happen, especially with Vin and Ezra around. JD chuckled quietly, secretly looking forward to the events that were likely to occur in the next couple of weeks.

Half an hour later, Buck returned, hair freshly washed and clean of glitter. They grinned at each other, little hints of promise flickering through both their eyes before JD's attention was diverted by his ringing phone.

"ATF, Agent Dunne speaking." He listened to the reply, his eyes lighting up in delight. "Mikey! Man, it's good to hear from you! How are you?"

The others looked up in curiosity, exchanging amused looks at the huge smile JD wore. A moment later, however, the amusement turned to concern as the smile faded and all color drained from his face.

"W...What? When? Uh-huh...Y-you're sure? Yeah...yeah okay. You too, Mikey. Okay...bye." JD hung up the phone and stared unseeingly at it, a look of pure shock on his face.

"JD?" Buck questioned after a few seconds and JD jumped, looking up with wide eyes. His concern rising at the reaction, Buck asked, "You okay, son? What's happened?"

JD stared at Buck, then abruptly jumped to his feet and raced off down the hall to the bathroom, barely avoiding Chris as he sped past. "What's with him?" Chris asked, following JD's retreat with his eyes before turning his attention back to the rest of his men.

"Got a phone call," Vin said as Buck followed after his roommate. "Think he just got some really bad news." As the sharpshooter filled Chris in on the sketchy details, Nathan got up and headed to the bathroom to look in on things. Ten minutes later, the trio emerged, Nathan and Buck wearing worried looks while JD was doing a fine impression of Death warmed over. Chris, having been watching for them, called JD into his office, Buck trailing in behind while Nathan returned to his desk, keeping a cautious eye on the office.

As JD sat in one of the chairs, Chris perched on the edge of his desk and studied his youngest agent for a moment before gently asking, "What's happened, JD? What was that phone call about?"

When JD didn't answer, Chris called his name again a little more sharply and JD jumped and quickly looked up with a dazed expression in his dark eyes. "Huh? W-what?"

"The call, JD," Chris repeated patiently. "What's happened?"

Something Chris couldn't quite identify flashed through JD's eyes before the boy lowered them and said quietly, "It was a friend from back east. He...he was calling to tell me that his grandmother passed away."

Chris raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Buck who stood next to him. A friend's grandmother, whom JD hadn't seen in years, passing away evoking *that* kind of reaction from the kid? That just didn't seem very likely...

JD, having glanced up and noticed the look, hurriedly said, "She...she was always real good to me and my mom. It's just that being reminded of her brought back some really, really bad memories along with the good," he finished, eye lowered once again.

Before those eyes lowered, though, Chris again caught that look and frowned as he realized what it was. A mixture of shame, guilt and fear. But why? Was it because he wasn't there at the time of a family friend's passing? Was it something in those 'bad memories?' Or, more likely, was it because he was lying to them, which completely mystified both men. What could possibly have happened that would cause JD to lie to them?

Chris looked up at Buck, who shook his head in the negative, eyes silently asking Chris not to push just then. JD's head was clearly not in the right place and he really didn't need to be harassed. Chris turned his attention back to JD, gazing at him thoughtfully for a moment before saying, "Go home, kid. Use the weekend to get yourself together. Let me know if you need anything."

JD looked up, a grateful and relieved expression slipping into his eyes. "Thanks, Chris," he murmured quietly.

Chris reached out and put a hand on JD's shoulder as the boy stood. "No driving. Not in your state. Buck?"

Buck nodded. "I got him. Go get your stuff, JD." As JD obeyed, Buck gave Chris a grateful look. "Thanks pard," he said softly. "I'll see if I can't coax what's really going on out of him over the weekend."

Chris nodded. "Call if you need anything."

Buck responded with a salute, then went and grabbed his own jacket before following JD out of the office.

Buck turned down the heat on the bubbling chicken soup and stirred it, mesmerized by the swirling contents of the pot. When they arrived home earlier, JD had gone straight to his room to lay down, and Buck let him be, giving the kid time to regroup and him self time to figure out how to handle the situation. Buck had plenty of experience in dealing with friends and bad memories. It was possible that the phone call really *had* brought back unwanted memories, but the kid's reaction and behavior just wasn't adding up. There was fear in his eyes. Both Buck and Chris had seen it. So the question was, what was coming out of JD's past to bite the boy in the ass?

Buck hoped that the last few hours had cleared JD's head of the shock and that his young friend would talk to him. Surely the younger man knew that he could tell Buck anything and that if he was in some kind of trouble, that Buck would do everything he possibly could to help and protect his friend.

His brother.

That's what brothers did after all; protect and help one another when needed. Maybe JD just needed to be reminded of that fact. Nodding, Buck put the spoon down and headed for JD's room.

"JD?" he called, knocking gently on the door before opening it and sticking his head in. "You awake?"

JD lay on his side, clutching a pillow to his chest. Eyes that were red from crying shifted to him, pulling at Buck's heart and prompting the older man to enter the room. He sat on the edge of the bed and lay a gentle hand on JD's back, rubbing soothingly.

"I made chicken soup," he said softly. "Why don't you come out and have some?"

"Not really hungry," came the quiet reply, eyes drifting shut with Buck's action.

Normally, Buck might have accepted the answer and left JD alone a little longer but his worry and confusion wouldn't allow it. "Come on, kid, you really should eat something. Soup will be nice and easy on the stomach and then you can lay down again if you want."

JD sighed, knowing Buck would persist until he got his way. He opened his eyes and nodded. "Be out in a minute."

Buck smiled and lightly patted JD's back before heading back to the kitchen to serve up the soup. JD came in a few minutes later and the pair ate in silence, Buck waiting to broach the subject until after JD had eaten. His gaze fixed itself on JD as the younger man finished his soup and took his bowl to the sink. Deciding to go for it, Buck pushed his empty bowl away and said, "JD..."

"Buck," JD interrupted, not turning around. "Not now, okay?"

Buck raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair, staring at the kid's back. "You need to talk about it, JD," he said softly. "It's not a good idea to keep it all bottled up inside."

"I can't, Buck," JD replied, finally turning to face his roommate, a pleading expression in his eyes. "Not now. I...I just need some time, okay? Please?"

The pleading in JD's eyes and voice pulled at Buck's heart and, against his better judgment, he found himself nodding. "All right, kid, all right. I'll give ya some time. When you're ready to talk, I don't care if it's day or night, you come to me, ya hear?"

JD nodded, a sad smile on his lips. "Thanks, Buck," he said softly before turning and heading back to his room.

That night would be the first of many nights that Buck would wake to screams of a brother tormented by nightmares.

2 Weeks Later:

Chris watched JD typing madly away at his computer, working obsessively on some program he insisted was going to improve their systems by leaps and bounds. Chris wondered, as he observed the exhaustion written all over his youngest agent's face, just how much of this little project was actual desire to improve things and how much was a way to avoid sleep. It certainly looked like he wasn't getting much, which worried Chris considering the line of work they were in. His gaze slid to Buck, who was watching the kid while trying to appear that he wasn't, worry written all over his face.

"Buck?" Chris called, getting his old friend's attention. "A word, please?"

Buck nodded, glanced at JD again, then followed Chris into his office, closing the door behind them.

"He ain't sleeping at all, Chris!" he burst out, having guessed what Chris wanted. "When he does sleep, he has these horrific nightmares if the screams are anything to go by. And he won't talk to me!" he added as he started to pace in agitation. "I promised I wouldn't push, that I'd give him some time and be there when he was ready to talk, but it's been two weeks!" He stopped and gave Chris a desperate look. "I can't take much more, Chris and neither can he. He's gonna land himself in the hospital with a nervous breakdown if something isn't done soon!"

Chris waited until Buck's worried rambling had run out of steam before moving to the door and calling for Josiah. The profiler listened as Buck related events a little more calmly, then sighed and shook his head. "Think we'd best have an intervention. Clearly JD can't work this out on his own and if he avoids it much longer, he likely *will* have a breakdown."

Chris nodded in agreement. "We'll take him out to the Ranch for the weekend," he said, standing and pulling out his wallet as he moved for the door. Josiah and Buck exchanged curious glances that turned to understanding as they heard Chris say, "JD, take a break and go on a lunch run, would you?"

JD looked up, bloodshot eyes widening a bit in alarm. "Can't someone else, Chris? I'm at an important part right now!"

Chris shook his head, fixing JD with on of his 'don't argue' looks. "You've been working non stop since you got here this morning. Take a break. That's an order."

JD looked like he was going to protest again but then gave a defeated sigh and nodded. After taking everyone's orders and the Agency Credit Card, JD silently left the office and Chris waited a couple of minutes to make sure he was gone before addressing the rest of his men. All were in extreme favor of the plan, having been worriedly watching their youngest steadily deteriorate for the past two weeks and agreed that an intervention was just what the doctor ordered.

When JD got back, Buck said, "Cancel any weekend plans ya got, kid. We're heading to the Ranch for a little fun!"

JD paused in handing out the lunch orders, that alarmed look passing through his eyes again. Quickly setting his gaze on Chris, he attempted a regretful smile and said, "I'm really sorry, Chris. I'd love to come, you know I would, but I really gotta keep working on my program. I still got a lot to do before it's even ready for a test run."

Chris shook his head. He wasn't falling for it. "Forget it, JD. You're so stressed out you're practically running into walls. You need a break. You're coming."

JD started to protest again, but Chris leveled a glare at him that silenced him. JD glanced around and found five more determined looks being aimed at him.

"Don't think I won't hog tie you and throw you in the back of my truck, kid," Buck threatened and with another defeated sigh, JD nodded and returned to his desk to get as much work done as possible before the weekend started. It escaped no one's notice that his lunch sat forgotten on the edge of his desk.

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The remainder of the day passed quickly and the group separated at quitting time to head for their own homes to get what they would need for the weekend at the Ranch. As he had for the last two weeks, JD remained quiet and withdrawn, drifting out of the house while dinner was cooking to visit with the horses.

Nathan, taking advantage of JD's absence, said, "Just so ya'll don't panic, I plan on slipping him something to make him sleep. We can have that little chat tomorrow." The others nodded in agreement, unwilling to argue over such a tactic when the boy desperately needed sleep. Better than a hospital stay.

Dinner was a mild affair that was mostly spent prodding JD to eat, despite his claims of not being hungry. He was more interested in his milk than the food, something Nathan had anticipated and thus, slipped his drug into.

"Come on, JD," Buck spoke, watching JD set his drained glass down and return to pushing the little eaten food around his plate. "You haven't eaten anything since breakfast and that was hardly anything at all."

JD looked up and blinked. As the others watched, he shook his head as if to clear it, then blinked rapidly again. Exchanging a quick glance with Nathan, Buck asked, "You okay, kid?"

JD swallowed and blinked again. "Um...I don't know," he murmured. "Feel kinda weird...heavy."

"Probably just overtired," Nathan said as he and Buck both stood and moved to either side of JD. "Come on, son," Nathan continued as he and Buck each took an arm to help the younger man to his feet. "You should lay down for a while. Make you feel better."

JD let himself be pulled up to his feet, the world tilting and spinning around him. He moaned softly and squeezed his eyes shut as his two larger friends held him steady. Strange, but the sensations currently flooding his body almost felt like... Opening his eyes, he looked at the empty glass of milk, leaning heavily into Buck as he gripped Nathan's shirt and mumbled, "Na...Nathan did you...?"

He didn't finish his question as the drug took full hold of him and he passed out, Buck smoothly gathering him up and heading for the room JD normally took whenever they stayed at the Ranch. Nathan followed, pulling back the covers then moving aside to let Buck gently place the sleeping youth down. Working together, they stripped JD down to his underclothes, then covered him up and stepped back, gazing down at him.

"Gave him enough to keep him under at least twelve hours, hopefully more," Nathan commented.

Buck glanced at the medic, a little smile playing across his lips. "He's not so far gone that he didn't catch on to what was happening. Gonna be pissed when he wakes up."

"Probably," Nathan agreed. "But at least he'll have had some proper rest." Turning, he clapped Buck on the shoulder and said, "Come on. We can check on him in a few hours. Let's go talk to the others about the plan for tomorrow."

Buck nodded and followed Nathan out, stopping at the door and turning to look back at his friend. "Sleep well, kid," he murmured, then shut off the light and closed the door gently behind him.

It was just after 2:30pm in the afternoon when an outraged voice rang throughout the house. "Nathan, you son of a bitch! Where are you?"

Buck, sitting out on the porch with Nathan, exchanged a glance with the medic and sighed. "Here we go."

"Yup," Nathan murmured as the pair stood and went inside where a very angry JD stood, looking around the room.

"Something on your mind, JD?" Nathan asked as the rest of the team appeared, drawn by JD's shouting.

"Hell yes there is!" JD spat, glaring daggers at the older man. "You fucking drugged me!"

"Yeah, I did," Nathan replied calmly. "And since you just slept," he glanced at his watch, "eighteen hours, I'd happily do it again."

"It was for your own good, JD," Buck added. When JD's glare turned his way, Buck narrowed his eyes and said, "Don't you look at me like that, boy. Do you realize how close you were to landing yourself in the hospital? You needed that sleep. Desperately."

The statement did nothing to mollify JD and he managed to include both men in his cold glare as he hissed, " You had no right!"

Anger born from weeks of worry and frustration filled Buck's eyes and he quickly closed the distance between them, grabbing a fist full of JD's shirt and yanking him close. "Who the *hell* do you think you're talking to?" he growled back. "We have *every* right!"

Before he could go further and possibly say something he'd regret, Chris intervened. "Enough!" he barked sharply. "Buck, let him go! JD, sit down! We need to talk."

Buck immediately released JD and stepped back, the anger vanishing as he remembered what they were there for.

"About what?" JD asked shortly, his own anger still shining through, gaze locked on Buck.

"About that phone call two weeks ago," Chris replied and JD's head snapped around to look at his leader, eyes widening just a little.

"What? I told you what that was about."

"Yeah," Chris agreed with a nod. "Now it's time to tell us those memories that call stirred up that are steadily taking you apart."

JD grew pale and he quickly looked at Buck. "You promised you'd wait until I was ready," he said accusingly, a tremor in his voice and a hint of panic in his eyes. "I ain't ready, Buck!"

"I know I promised you that, JD," Buck replied. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you're ever gonna *be* ready. You need to talk about this, kid. Before the stress you're putting yourself through kills you."

The hint of panic surged forward to completely replace the anger. Shaking his head rapidly, JD whispered pleadingly, "Please, Buck, I can't. Please don't make me, please!"

Buck closed his eyes, unable to take that look in his young friend's eyes. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his little brother and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he wouldn't let anything happen to him and that he didn't have to talk if he didn't want to. But he had to talk. For the sake of his mental and physical health, he *had* to.

"JD." Buck opened his eyes to find Josiah next to JD, one large hand resting lightly on the back of the kid's neck. "Come with me," the big man murmured, giving the rest of them a reassuring look as he guided the boy out of the room.

Five minutes went by, during which time the remaining men waited as patiently as they could, wondering what Josiah could possibly be doing. Finally, the pair returned, JD wearing an expression of utter defeat. He refused to look at any of them as he moved to the window and stared out at Chris' front yard. Josiah held up a hand to stop anyone from talking and sat down, watching JD patiently. The others exchanged curious looks, but stayed silent, waiting. Finally, after several long moments, JD began to talk.

"When I was growing up in Boston, I got picked on a lot. Being small and smart made me an easy target. There was this one bully, though, that even the other bullies were afraid of. Danny Erickson. He was three years older than me and a serious nutcase. Serial killer just waiting for that special little spark to ignite in him.

While he was waiting, he kept himself occupied by tormenting and beating on me and a lot of other kids as well a torturing and killing small animals. Sometimes he and the goons that hung around with him would do both at once. More than once they grabbed me, took me some place private, tied me up and made me watch while they tortured some poor dog or cat."

He closed his eyes, a shudder wracking his body as he revisited past horrors. "Animals can scream too, ya know," he whispered. "They can scream real loud."

He paused and wiped at his eyes before continuing. "When they would finally get bored with the animal, they would kill it. Sometimes quick and sometimes slow, depending on what kind of a mood Danny was in and then turn their attention to me or whoever they had."

JD paused and turned to look at them. The expression in his eyes was a mixture of torment and cold hate that sent a shiver down Buck's spine. It was the same look that Chris had worn for a long time following the loss of Sarah and Adam. To see it on JD filled Buck with cold despair and that urge to wrap the boy in his arms and just hold him swept through him again. But he didn't move, didn't speak, didn't hardly dare breathe as those eyes locked on him.

JD raised his right pant leg, revealing a scar that went from his knee to his calf. Remember when I told you that I got this scar in a bicycle accident?"

Buck nodded, dread filling his heart as JD said bluntly, "I lied. There would be periods of time where there would be a semblance of peace when Danny would do something to get himself thrown in Juvie. When I was fifteen, we'd been going through one of those periods. It was way, way too short. He'd been out for a couple of days when he and his friends found me. He'd been looking for me specifically. Had picked up a new fetish after some incident in Juvie and wanted to try it out on his favorite target. He'd seen the inside of animals, now he wanted to see the inside of a human."

JD's cold eyes swept the room, silently daring the older men to look away or stop his narrative. Nobody did. All stood or sat completely still, gazes locked on their youngest which JD couldn't help but hate them a little for. Feeling like he was an exhibit at some freak show, JD continued speaking, resentment flickering through his dark eyes.

"They jumped me and dragged me down to the far end of an alley. Beat me a little to make it easier for his friends to hold me down. Danny sat on my chest, though not before showing me this butcher's knife he had."

JD finally looked away, focusing on a spot on the floor to his left. "He went slow," he murmured. "One of his goons put his hand over my mouth to muffle my screams while Danny cut right down to the bone. I'd never felt anything like it and haven't since. Being shot…nothing compared to that. I'd much rather be shot than go through that again.

Passing cop saved my life. If he hadn't looked down that ally and saw us, I probably would have been the one to kick off Danny's impending career as a serial killer." Closing his eyes, JD took a deep, shaky breath. "It took a long time to get full use of my leg back. Had to go through a lot of hard therapy and Danny was never charged. The cop had never actually gotten a good look at who was attacking me, and since there were no other witnesses, it became my word against theirs even though everyone knew they were lying scum. Didn't matter, though. Few weeks later, that little spark exploded. Danny turned on his own friends. Brutally tortured and killed all three of them. Local law was only too happy to try him as an adult. Myself and a couple of others testified. Told the court everything he had done to us and anything else we had witnessed. He was convicted and sentenced to life with no chance of parole for forty-five years."

JD turned emotionless eyes back to his audience and said, "Mikey didn't call to tell me his grandmother died. He was calling to give me a heads up. Danny escaped from prison."

His confession was met with stunned looks. Then Buck exploded. "What! *Goddamit* JD! This lunatic is loose and you didn't think it important enough to tell us?"

JD's emotionless gaze turned dismissive. "He won't come looking for me. Mikey said they tracked him up into Canada. He just thought I should know, just in case." The cold, hateful look returned to his eyes and he added venomously, " If, on the off chance he *does* show, I'll happily put a bullet in his head."

"JD," Chris spoke up before anyone could comment on the uncharacteristic statement. When JD's attention was on him, Chris asked, "Why did you lie, son? Why couldn't you tell us this from the start?"

The coldness drained away with the question, leaving behind an exhausted, vulnerable kid. Lowering his gaze, he sighed and said, "Shock, I guess. Hadn't thought of Danny in years and I'd pretty much buried everything. Then Mikey called and it all came flooding back at once. Along with the instincts that got beat into me not to tell. I guess I got overwhelmed…confused."

Buck approached and reached out to touch his friend, but JD shied away, hugging himself tightly, missing the hurt that flashed through Buck's eyes. With a mumbled, "I need some air," JD hurried from the room, the front door slamming shut a few seconds later.

Buck started to follow, but stopped when Josiah said, " No, Buck, give the boy some time alone."

Buck stood, looking torn before finally sinking back on the couch, running an agitated hand through his dark hair. "Goddamn!" he exclaimed. "How the hell did he go through all that and still turn out the way he has?"

"He's a good man," Josiah murmured. "Has a lot of love in his heart. His mama raised him well."

"What is it, Ezra?"

All eyes were drawn to Vin at his quiet question, and then to Ezra, who looked as though he was deep in contemplation. It was a moment before the southerner said, "I really do not wish to consider it, but being the trained observer that I am, I could not help but pick up on the subtle signs that JD was not telling us the whole story."

Silence met the agent's statement as the others tried to think back and pinpoint whatever Ezra had seen. Josiah seemed to catch on and started nodding and, with an irritated look, Chris demanded, "Explain."

"Body language, gentlemen," Ezra replied. "As many are wont to do when hearing tales of such tragedy, you failed to notice what else his body was saying. What it said to me, and I expect Mr. Sanchez, was that JD was censoring his story. Choosing what to tell us and what to carefully guard."

He paused, nodding in agreement with himself. "Yes, there is most definitely more to this horror story and I shudder to think what it might be."

"Shit," Chris breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose wearily. After a moment, he looked up and around at the others. "He's going to have to go into counseling and ride a desk for a while. I can't have him out in the field in the state he's in."

The others nodded in agreement, then Josiah said, "I'll council him, Chris. Better that he talks to someone he knows and trusts than a stranger."

Chris looked at Josiah and nodded. "All right, I'll give him the choice. Maybe he won't fight as hard." Chris was fully expecting JD to fight him on his decision, but knew that in the end, the boy would submit. Hopefully whatever he had kept back could be coaxed out of him in counseling.

He let an hour go by before he went out to talk to JD, after having convinced Buck to let him speak with his youngest alone. The ladies man had spent the hour alternating between pacing and staring out at the barn, the likely place JD had gone. He was hurting because JD was hurting and he desperately wanted to go to his little brother and comfort him as much as he could. Hell, they all did after what they heard. But Josiah was right. The kid needed some alone time, so they gave it to him. But now, Chris needed to explain to JD what was going to happen and hopefully make the kid realize and accept that it was necessary for both his mental and physical health.

Stepping into the barn, Chris paused to let his eyes adjust to the light change, then spotted JD carefully grooming his little bay, which seemed to be delighting in the attention. Glanced around, he noticed that Ezra, Buck and his own horses had been groomed and realized that JD was working his way down the line. He wondered what the kid planned to do after he was done with all seven since he was likely going to try to avoid his friends for as long as he could. Why, Chris didn't really understand. It wasn't like JD's childhood was anything to be ashamed of...

Pony nickered a greeting to him and JD looked up, a weariness filling his eyes when he spotted Chris. With a sigh, the younger man turned his attention back to his horse, murmuring, "Please leave me alone, Chris. I don't want to talk anymore."

Chris hated to see his youngest this way and wished he could do something to take the boy's pain away. With a soft sigh, the leader moved further into the barn, stopping and putting a gentle hand on the Bay's nose. "I'm sorry, JD," he murmured. "But you and I need to discuss what needs to happen next."

"Nothing needs to happen next," JD replied, refusing to look at Chris as he continued his ministrations. "I told the damn story of my tormented childhood. We can all move on now."

Chris opened his mouth to dispute JD's claim, but then closed it and studied the boy. JD ignored him and, after a moment, Chris moved into the stall with him, covering JD's hand with his own and making him stop his motions. JD tried to pull his hand away, but Chris tightened his grip until JD turned a glare on him.

"Let me go."

"Nope." Chris pulled suddenly, causing JD to stumble into him where he wrapped his arms around the kid and held him close. As expected, JD struggled, but the resistance was short lived. At Chris' whispered, "It's okay, son. I'm here for you," JD's movements stopped and, a moment after that, he was clinging to Chris and sobbing quietly. Chris held him silently, letting the kid get his pent up grief out and, when the sobs finally slowed to a stop, guided the younger man out of the stall and over to a bench, where they sat, Chris' arm wrapped firmly around JD's shoulders.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Chris finally said quietly, "JD, I'm putting you on desk duty for a while..."

JD's head shot up, looking at Chris in wide eyed surprise. "What? Why? What did I do?"

Chris squeezed JD's shoulder gently and said, "Nothing, son. But the last few weeks have been real rough on you and I can't have you in the field in the state that you're in."

JD's eyes grew defiant. "Chris, you don't need to do that! I'm fine!"

"No, you're not, JD and you know you're not," Chris replied calmly. "Nathan had to drug you to get you to actually sleep and, I gotta say, you look a hell of a lot better than you did. but not enough. It's going to take a while before you really are okay, which leads me to the other thing we need to discuss. I want you to get some counseling."

JD's eyes immediately filled with protest. "What! Chris, that's ridiculous! I don't need to ride a desk and I sure as hell don't need therapy!"

"This isn't up for debate, JD," Chris replied firmly, yet gently. "I need you at one hundred per cent and you're far from that right now. You need help to properly deal with these memories instead of just shoving them down and waiting for the next sudden eruption."

JD looked away, glaring down at the floor, and Chris knew he had won. "Hey," he said gently, "If it's any consolation, I'm giving you a choice between one of the Agency's councilors or Josiah."

JD looked at him in confusion and Chris smiled. "He offered. Says you'd probably feel better talking to family rather than a stranger."

JD turned his gaze back to the floor and, after a few minutes, gaze a resigned sigh and nodded. "Josiah," he murmured.

"Good," Chris answered and gave JD's shoulder another squeeze. "How bout we finish with these horses, then go see about something to eat?"

JD looked up at the horses, a little smile crossing his lips as he nodded. "Hey Chris?" he said as Chris stood. He offered a weak smile as Chris looked back at him, knowing that the older man was right. That he was a mess and couldn't get through this on his own. "Thanks."

Chris smiled and pulled JD to his feet and into a half hug. "Anytime, kid. Anytime."

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Two and half weeks went by, during which time, between Nathan and Josiah, JD began to show improvement. At least Buck hadn't been woken by fear filled screams every night. Just a few times, which was a vast improvement in Buck's opinion.

There was, however, concern of JD's continued obsession with his project. He'd gone from moderate obsession to manic since Chris put him on desk duty and Buck was getting more and more worried.

"It's like he's paranoid and feels that he has to have the damn thing done by a certain time," the ladies man confided to Josiah in the hope that the older man had some insight from his sessions with JD. Unfortunately, the profiler was just as mystified and, when JD was asked about it, the kid simply smiled and said, "You guys will forgive my madness once I get everything up and running."

Their tech expert was currently crammed under Ezra's desk, having spent the entire morning moving from under one desk to another, refusing to say what he was doing except that it was necessary. Ezra was currently sharing Josiah's desk, using a lap top at JD's insistence, when all were startled by a loud, triumphant yell from JD. They watched as he scrambled out and hurried to his own desk which, aside from his own company computer, also held five busily working laptops.

"Everyone stop what you're doing and don't move!" he exclaimed with a quick glance around the room before turning his full attention to his computers. He rapidly typed in some commands then, suddenly, all the computers went blank. Holding up a hand at the alarmed protests, JD typed in more commands and, a few seconds later, the computers came back on line. A little smile crossed JD's lips as he watched the information scrolling along his screens, before letting out another yell of happiness, again causing the other men to jump in surprise.

"Yes! Success! It's works!"

"JD!" Chris' sharp voice interrupted the little celebratory dance JD started and, when the kid looked over, Chris fought back a smile. "Just what did you do?"

JD grinned widely and proudly. "Boy, have I outdone myself this time!" he announced, causing the others to share amused glances. "Team Seven is now the only ATF team *anywhere* to have systems tighter than Fort Knox which, by they way, I could totally take down if I wanted to." He smirked, then continued. "Everything is now faster, more user friendly and, most importantly, if anyone makes even the *slightest* little attempt to access our files without authorization, they'll end up with the computer virus from hell!"

Chuckles filled the room as the look of pure glee on JD's face. It had been so long since they had seen the boy look so happy and it made the rest of them happy to see it.

"JD?" Chris asked, drawing JD's attention back to him. "I'm real glad you got things going so well, but what about what we were all working on?"

JD grinned, turned to one of his computers and typed in more commands. Seconds later, projects and reports were returned to their owners and several sighs of relief were heard. JD snickered. "Have a little faith in the master, boys. I'd never let you lose your stuff."

"Hey 'master,'" Chris said with an amused smile. "Why don't you and Buck go on a lunch run? We can celebrate this very find accomplishment of yours later at the Saloon."

JD's eyes lit up at that thought and, after taking orders, Buck slung an arm around JD's shoulders and guided him out. With amused chuckles, the others returned to work while they waited for lunch.

It was about forty minutes later when Chris emerged from his office with a frown. "What's taking those two so long?"

"You know Buck," Vin replied. "Probably met some pretty girl that JD is having trouble dragging him away from."

Chris rolled his eyes and pulled out his cell, only to have it start ringing. A snort escaped as he looked at the caller ID. "Speak of the devil." Answering it, he said, "JD, where... What? JD! Slow down, son, I can't understand you."

As the others watched, Chris grew pale and started signaling them to get their coats as he turned and hurried back into his office to get his own coat. "Where, JD? All right, hang tight, we'll be right there." Closing his phone, he grabbed his jacket and turned to his now very concerned men. "Buck's been hit by a car," he said as he led the way to the stairs. "He's been taken to Mercy."

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They arrived at the hospital to find a frantic JD pacing the waiting room. It was only when Chris grabbed his arm and called his name sharply that JD realized they were there. Taking in the blood on his clothes, Chris asked, "Are you hurt, JD?"

JD blinked, glanced down and, eyes widening, shook his head. Leading his youngest to a chair, Chris gently pushed him down then knelt in front of him and asked, "What happened, JD?"

JD closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "W-we decided to walk to the lunch place since it was only a few blocks away and it was such a nice day. I…I don't know what happened, Chris! I...I didn't even see the car until... Oh God! Buck, he...he must have seen it cause he yelled and pushed me and I...I heard it hit him! And it...it kept going! It didn't even stop, it just kept going!"

Tears were running down JD's cheeks and Chris reached up, cupping the back of the younger man's neck and pulling him close. "Shh, it's okay, son. It'll be okay. Did you get a look at the car?"

JD nodded. "B...Black Toyota. Didn't see the plates, though."

"It's all right," Chris murmured. "Someone else probably did. Don't worry about it now." He glanced up at Josiah, who nodded. "Listen, JD. It's probably going to be a while before we hear anything, so I want you to go with Josiah and get cleaned up, okay?"

Before JD could think to protest, Chris pulled him to his feet and Josiah placed a firm arm around him, guiding him out of the room. Chris sighed and turned his attention to Nathan, who said, "The only thing I could find out is that Buck is in surgery. Broken leg. Nurse Davis promised to tell us as soon as she hears anything."

Chris nodded and took the seat JD had just vacated, only to stand up again as a familiar and welcome face entered the room. "Jason."

"Chris." Detective Jason Roberts took Chris' hand in a firm shake. "Any word on Buck?"

Chris shook his head. "You on this case?"

Jason nodded grimly. "Afraid I have bad news. Witnesses were able to get the plate of the car that hit Buck, but I'm sorry to say that it was reported stolen this morning."

Chris' curse was echoed by the others, knowing now that there was little chance of catching whoever had run Buck down now. "We're hoping that Buck or the kid who was with him will be able to give us more information," Jason continued. "There's a chance that one of them may have seen the driver."

Chris shook his head. "Don't know about Buck yet, but JD didn't give any indication that he saw anything beyond a black Toyota."

Jason nodded sympathetically. "I hate do to it so soon, Chris, but we need to get a statement from JD. Is he here?"

"One of my men took him to get cleaned up. They should be back soon." If it had been anyone else asking, Chris likely would have put them off for a day or two. But Jason Roberts was a good cop and friend and Chris knew he'd do everything he could to find the driver and not just write it off as unsolvable.

The two men sat down and spoke quietly while waiting for JD and Josiah to come back. When JD returned, introductions were made, then JD, with Chris sitting right next to him, told Jason everything he knew, which wasn't much. It was just as he was finishing his statement that a doctor they were all very well acquainted with entered the room, drawing everyone's complete attention.

"Hank," Chris greeted, shaking the other man's hand, pleased that Hank Carson was the doctor tending Buck.

"Chris, boys," Dr. Carson replied. Before questions could start, he said, "Buck's had a rough time of it. Broke his right leg, four ribs and has a serious concussion. But I'm confident that he'll be all right. We're going to keep him here at least a week, though, to keep an eye on that concussion and make sure everything is healing as it should."

Collective sighs of relief filled the room and JD asked, "Can we see him yet?"

"Soon as he's settled in a room, yes, though he probably won't wake for a while just to warn you. A nurse will let you know where he is shortly."

"Thanks, Hank," Chris said, shaking the doctor's hand again. Hank nodded and smiled. "See you boys later."

"I'll come back in a day or two, Chris," Jason spoke up, drawing Chris' attention back to him. "Let me know if there's anything I can do?"

Chris nodded and the pair clasped hands again. "Appreciate it, Jason. Keep me posted on any progress?"

"Absolutely." Jason nodded to the others, then turned and left Team Seven to their anxious wait.

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Buck had been in the hospital to two days. Jason came back to get his statement, but all the Ladies man could tell him was seeing a flash of a white male with dark hair covered by a baseball cap, age undetermined.

JD hardly left his roommate's side, though he knew he would have to start putting in appearances at the office soon, even if he *was* still on desk duty. Not that there was anything pressing that needed his attention and the others were with Buck nearly as much as JD was. If they could get away with it, so could he.

Chris had been there for a couple of hours when Ezra arrived, carrying a folder with him. After exchanging greetings with Buck, the southerner requested a word with Chris out in the hall. Nodding, Chris patted Buck's shoulder, then followed Ezra outside. "What is it, Ezra?"

Ezra glanced around to make sure they were out of earshot, then said, "Well, Mr. Larabee, I found that Buck being struck down by a hit and run driver while a lunatic from JD's past recently escaped prison and is running around unchecked rather suspicious. So, I decided to check on the progress of the hunt for said lunatic."

Chris raised an eyebrow and nodded. "And?"

"And JD has either lied to us again, or has himself been deceived," Ezra replied, handing Chris the folder he had brought. "It seems that the 'charming' Mr. Erickson was killed in a prisoner altercation a year and a half ago."

"Son of a bitch!" Chris hissed as he read the contents of the file. What the *hell* was going on? Chris couldn't help the anger and frustration that surged through him. Had JD lied? Again? If so, then what could be so terrible that he would choose to share the traumatic memory of Danny Erickson rather than the truth? And if he hadn't lied...if he'd, as Ezra had suggested, been deceived, then to what purpose?

Goddamit!

"What do you wish to do, Mr. Larabee?" Ezra questioned quietly, watching Chris carefully.

Chris sighed, running an agitated hand through his blond hair. After a moment, he said, "I want you to track down the recording of the call JD got that started this whole mess. I wanna know *exactly* what was said to him before we confront him with anything."

Ezra nodded, taking the folder back and turning to go carry out his orders, stopping when Chris put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's keep this between us for now," the blond said. "Less chance of JD picking up that we know something is off."

With another nod and a salute, Ezra headed off down the hall. Chris watch him go, taking a few minutes to compose himself, then headed back into Buck's room.

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Buck had been in the hospital for four days when he woke from one of his many spontaneous naps to find JD sitting next to him, staring at the card that came with the beautiful white roses delivered that morning. He frowned as he caught the look of profound sadness and...knowledge? that dominated his young friend's face and reached out to touch JD's knee.

"You okay, JD?" he asked quietly.

JD looked up, startled, before a smile that didn't reach his eyes passed his lips. "Hey. Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired. Didn't sleep very well last night." He held up the card and nodded to the flowers. "Where'd these come from?"

"Dunno," Buck replied. "They were delivered this morning without a name  
attached. Probably from one of my many admirers," he added with a grin that had JD rolling his eyes.

The next hour and a half was spent in easy companionship until Buck started to grow uneasy by the look he kept catching in JD's eyes. "JD?" he finally asked when he could stand it no more. "What's wrong, kid?"

JD looked away, not bothering to deny that something was up, which only made Buck's unease grow. The kid was quiet for a few minutes, clearly gathering his thoughts and Buck waited patiently. Finally, JD looked at him and Buck was struck by the raw emotion in those dark eyes.

"Buck I...I don't think I've ever told you how much you mean to me. I never had any siblings or even any real close friends who I could consider siblings growing up. With you...well, I feel like you and I..."

Buck smiled and reached out, grasping JD's hand firmly. "Me too, kid," he murmured.

JD squeezed back and Buck was again struck by the degree of emotion JD was displaying. It gave him the strangest feeling that something more was going on, but before he could ask, Josiah and Nathan were entering the room and JD was greeting them with a brightness that was heavily overshadowed by sadness. Something neither of the newcomers missed. When questioned, JD told them the same thing he had Buck which, of course, Nathan was all over immediately, promising to JD more sleep aids which JD just nodded, a fond smile on his lips.

The kid stayed another fifteen minutes, with Buck watching him the whole time, unable to quell the feeling that something just wasn't right. Then, with the claim of work to be done before Chris blew a gasket and the promise to be back in the morning, JD was heading out the door. But not before pausing and looking back at Buck, staring the older man straight in the eyes as he smiled gently and said, "I love you, Buck."

A hint of a smirk slipped into the smile as his gaze shifted to Josiah and Nathan. "Don't let him strain himself trying to impress that new nurse, eh guys?" His eyes returned to buck, who frowned while Josiah and Nathan laughed before disappearing with a wave out the door.

Why did it feel like JD was saying goodbye?

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Shrill ringing penetrated the peaceful, pleasant dream state he had finally managed to slip into. Cracking opening his eyes, the alarm clock swam into view, seeming to mock him with the large 4:47AM, which Chris cursed as he fumbled for the phone, promising retribution on the insolent device.

"Larabee," he growled. "This had better be damn good."

"Chris, it's Josiah."

"Josiah?" Chris sat up, alertness quickly overriding his sleep fogged mind. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think what happened to Buck was an accident. I think he might be in danger."

Chris blinked. Josiah wasn't usually so blunt. "What makes you say that?"

"Did you read that card that came with those white roses?"

"Yeah." Chris thought it a rather strange card, but given all the women Buck dated, there was bound to be one or two strange ones in the bunch. He'd read it twice and, as he thought back to it, the words floated through his memory.

'Sorry to hear of your injuries. Know that the Angel Abaddon is near and will soon wrap you in his embrace and all will be well.'

"That card has been bothering me since I read it," Josiah continued. "I just realized why. Chris, the Angel Abaddon is the fallen Angel of Death. Whoever sent that card meant it as a threat to Buck's life. Probably the driver of the car."

Chris' heart jumped to his throat and he cursed again for the second time in less than five minutes. "JD," he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm gonna nail your ass."

"Brother?" Josiah questioned.

Chris sighed and told the older man what Ezra learned two days earlier. "Safe bet that what happened to Buck is connected to whatever the hell JD is in the middle of." Chris paused, then added, "Ezra wasn't able to find the recording of that phone call. Someone went in and deleted it. Tech is trying to backtrack whoever did it, but at this  
point, I doubt they're going to find anything since it was likely JD who did it."

"This doesn't make any sense, Chris. If JD is in trouble, why is he trying to hide it from us? We're his family. He should know he can come to us with anything and we'll back him."

"I don't know, Josiah," Chris replied with a frustrated breath. "But enough is enough. JD is going to tell us the Goddamn truth if I have to tie him up and lock him in a fucking closet. In the meantime..."

"Don't worry, brother," Josiah interjected. "I'm getting ready to head to the hospital now."

A smile touched Chris' lips as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed. "Thanks, Josiah. I'll arrange for a guard when I get to the office."

"All right," Josiah replied. "I'll see you later this morning."

Chris nodded. "Keep your eyes open, Josiah."

"Always do," Josiah replied before disconnecting the line.

Chris hung up his phone, then sat for a few minutes, absorbing the conversation he'd just hat. "Goddamit, JD," he muttered. "What are you involved in?" Whatever it was, Chris was bound and determined to get to the bottom of it.

Today.

Getting to his feet, Chris headed for his shower to get ready to face what was likely going to be a very, very long day.

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He arrived at work a half hour early and was surprised and pleased to see JD's bike parked in it's usual spot. Good, no waiting. He could nail the kid's ass immediately. He made his way up to his team's floor, wondering what JD was doing there so early in the first place. Probably messing around with that program of his. Fine tuning or something.

Entering his team's bullpen, he stopped when he saw JD coming straight toward him, looking behind him. "JD," he greeted and the kid stopped with a start, Chris swearing he saw a glimmer of panic flash through the young tech's eyes before a smile forced it's way to his lips and he continued toward him.

"Hey, Chris!" JD greeted. "You're here early."

Chris nodded. "Got important things to look after. Josiah called me a few hours ago. He thinks what happened to Buck wasn't an accident."

JD's face lost some color. "What? W-why does he think that?"

Chris' eyes narrowed. "I think you know." He was stopped from saying more by the shrill ringing of the phone in his office. He glanced toward the room, then looked back at JD, pinning him with a glare. "Don't you dare move from this spot, you hear me? I'm gonna get rid of whoever that is, then you and I are going to have a real long, *honest* talk." He jabbed a finger into JD's chest and growled, "Do. Not. Move."

Stalking past his young agent, Chris entered his office, dropped his stuff on the couch and snatched up his phone. "Larabee."

He listened as the person on the other end identified himself as 'Carlos' from tech support, but that was as much as he heard as his eyes fell on a document sitting on his desk that sent his heart jumping into his throat for the second time that day.

Mr. Chris Larabee  
ATF Team Seven Team Leader

Dear Mr. Larabee. It is with great sadness and regret that I resign from my position on ATF Team Seven effective immediately. Please find secured in my former desk drawer my badge and Agency Issue weapon. It has been a pleasure serving with you.

John Daniel Dunne

Completely forgetting there was someone on the phone, he slammed it down in it's receiver, snatched the paper up and raced out of his office. "JD!"

"Whoa!" Vin Tanner said, moving quickly to avoid a collision. He grinned and asked, "Where's the fire, Cowboy?"

"Where's JD?" Chris snapped back, gaze flying around the office and finding no sign of the youngest agent.

Vin's grin faded as he said, "Just missed him. Said we were gonna have an important meeting and he was gonna go get donuts. W...Chris!" Vin shouted as Chris took off running. He hit the stairwell and all but flew down the stairs, barreling through the door when he reached the parking lot, shouting for JD.

Too late. The bike was gone and Chris cursed violently. "Chris!" Vin exclaimed, appearing next to the blond, worry in his blue eyes. "What's going on?"

"JD's running," Chris growled back, handing the paper to Vin as he turned and stalked back to the elevators.

"Shit," Vin muttered as he followed. "But why?"

"I don't know," Chris answered and quickly told the younger man everything he knew as they took the elevator back up to their office, where they found Nathan getting settled as his desk.

"Guys," the ex medic greeted. A wary look filled his eyes as he took the pair in. "What's going on?"

While Vin filled Nathan in, Chris hurried into his office and grabbed the phone, intending to put out an APB on his wayward agent, but stopped as his eyes fell on two more items he had not seen earlier. A CD with the words, "play me" written on it, and next to that was a sealed envelop with Buck's name written on it. Slowly sitting down, Chris picked up the disk and put it into his computer's drive just as Vin and Nathan entered. A moment later, up popped JD's image. It was a video message and it looked like it had been recorded back at the condo he and Buck shared.

There was deep sadness in the boy's eyes as he stared into the camera and said, "Hey guys. God...this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do next to burying my mother. But I have to leave. I can't even begin to tell you how much the last few years have meant to me. What you guys all mean to me and I am so, *so* sorry that I have to do it this way. I'm not leaving because I want to, but because I *have* to. I...I don't belong with you. I've known it a while now and it's been wearing heavily on me. You guys deserve better but I can't give it to you. All I can give you is that I love you all very, very much and that I will *never* forget everything you did for me.

Please guys, look after each other, all right? Buck? *Please* don't go on a rampage or anything, all right? You need to get yourself all healed up so you can put your animal maggotism back to work." A little smile crossed his lips and he paused to wipe at wet eyes. He swallowed hard a couple of times, then said, "I need one last favor, guys. I need you to accept that our time together is over and let me go. Please. Don't try to find me. I need to move on and so do you. Again, look after each other. I don't want to read that one of you got shot doing something stupid or something."

He closed his eyes and swallowed again and the three men watching felt their hearts breaking. A tear was sliding down the boy's cheek as he opened his eyes and said, "Bye guys. I love you, and I'll never forget you."

The screen went blank and silence filled the office as the three men tried to come to terms with what they had just seen. None could believe that JD would just leave them like that. Not the kid who absolutely adored his job and loved his friends with everything he had! It just couldn't be happening!

The ringing of the phone caused them all to jump and Chris quickly snatched it up. "Larabee," he said in a dazed voice. He listened to the person on the other end, Carlos again, and frowned. "What? What are you talking about?" Nathan and Vin exchanged glances as Chris frowned and reached out to his computer, closing JD's video message and going into the personnel files. They watched as he double clicked on JD's name and brought his file up and all three gasped in astonishment.

There, under JD's picture and name, in big bold letters, was the word 'Deceased.'

TBC


	3. Chapter 2

PART 2

Los Angeles, California: Present time:

"Hello, JD. Long time no see, kid."

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Vin took advantage of JD's stupor to move past him and into the apartment. A quick glance around told the ex bounty hunter that the apartment was roughly the size of his own little place back home in Purgatory and was very sparsely furnished. As if the kid wasn't expecting to be there long enough to accumulate much furniture. Like maybe he needed to be ready to move at a moments notice.

To run...

"Nice place," he commented, turning his attention back to JD, who was still staring at him in shock. The older man's gaze slid down to the gun JD held loosely in his hand, which had been hidden when the kid had opened the door. Raising an eyebrow, Vin nodded at the gun and said, "You planning on using that?"

JD blinked and looked down at the weapon, eyes widening in realization. Quickly tucking it into a holster at his back, he looked out into the hallway before closing the door and turning all the locks. When he turned around, Vin grinned widely as he set the pizza down on the table.

"Damn, kid! You are one hard man to find. Gotta say, I'm pretty impressed with your skill at disappearing."

JD scowled as he approached Vin. "Obviously not good enough since you found me." He stopped in front of Vin, the scowl still on his face as he asked, "How did you find me?"

Vin grinned again and held up the newspaper picture. "Old friend sent this to me."

JD's scowl darkened. "Dammit," he muttered. "I *told* Ruby I didn't want to be in that damn picture but she was just so freaking insistent." He uttered a few choice curses, then sighed and looked at Vin. Vin stared back and, after a few seconds, they broke into smiles and embraced.

"It's good to see you, Vin," JD murmured and Vin unconsciously tightened his grip as emotion flooded his system.

"You, too, kid," he whispered back. God! He hadn't realized how good it would feel to see JD alive and well and safe after so much time had passed! To embrace the man who had become his youngest brother among six. JD's departure had left a void that Vin could feel closing as they held each other and Vin didn't ever want it to open up again. *Ever.*

After another moment, they pulled back and JD smiled as he asked, "Do the others know you're here?"

Vin nodded, noting JD's smile fade a bit. "They think I'm out here visiting a sick friend. Didn't want to disappoint them if the lead turned out to be another dead end. Chris is the only one who knows the truth."

He tensed inwardly as relief filled the kid's eyes and the smile returned. JD squeezed his arm and turned away, moving to a cupboard and grabbing some plates as he said, "Good! We can have dinner and catch up. Then you can head home in the morning and tell Chris it was another dead end."

Vin blinked, surprised more by the casualness of JD's words than the words themselves. "What?"

JD looked up with a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Home, Vin," he repeated. "You'll go home and forget you ever saw me."

Anger replaced the surprise and Vin suppressed a growl as he exclaimed, "Are you fucking serious? You honestly think I'm just gonna go home and forget you exist after finally tracking you down? Goddamit, JD! Do you have *any* idea what your little disappearing act did to us? What it did to *Buck?* We didn't see him for two weeks once he was mobile again! He ain't been the same since! Ya may as well have died the way he's been grieving!"

JD's eyes filled with ice and he glared coldly. "Don't you think for *one second* that I don't know what it did!" he hissed back. "You think leaving didn't tear me apart? There's not a *day* that goes by that I don't miss you guys! That my heart doesn't feel like it's being slowly ripped from my chest!"

"Then why'd you leave?" Vin asked, challenge in his voice and eyes.

JD held his gaze for a few seconds, then turned away, shaking his head. "Go home, Vin," he murmured. "Please, just...go."

Vin stared at his friend, unable to believe what he was seeing and hearing. After a moment, he reached into his pocket and said, "Got a better idea. Think I'll call Chris and have him and the boys get on the next flight out here."

JD spun around, eyes widening when he saw the cell in Vin's hand. "No!" he exclaimed, quickly closing the distance between them and grabbing Vin's arm. "Please, Vin! Don't! Please!"

Vin was struck by the actual raw fear displayed in JD's eyes, but forced himself to remain challenging. "Why'd you leave? Who are you running from, JD?" He reached out and swiftly raised up JD's shirt, biting his lip when he saw the belt of knives hidden beneath it, following up with a quick pat of JD's right arm, feeling the rig there. There were likely more weapons hidden on his lower body as well. "Who's got you so scared you've armed yourself to the teeth even in your own home?"

When JD just stared back at him, Vin shrugged and flipped open the phone. "All right, suit yourself."

"All right!" JD burst out, his grip on Vin's arm tightening almost painfully. He closed his eyes in resignation, opening them a few seconds later as he said, "I'll tell you everything, but you have to promise that in the morning, you'll go home and not breathe a word of my whereabouts to anyone."

Vin shook his head. "Sorry, kid, but the only promise I'm gonna make is the promise to listen and I swear to God, JD, you'd better tell me the *real* story. No more lies and half truths, you hear me?"

JD gave him a dark look, then turned and went to sit at the table, kicking a chair out for Vin as he did. Vin joined him and they sat in silence for several minutes, Vin waiting patiently for JD to get his thoughts together. Finally, the younger man began to talk.

"You know that I grew up in Boston with my mother and that we didn't have much. Mom made a living cleaning houses and, while she didn't make a lot, she was still able to put food on the table and a roof over our heads."

A sad smile touched his lips. "She was an amazing woman, my mother. You would have liked her. Even after she go sick she was so strong..." He trailed off for a moment, lost in memories of the woman who had raised him. Finally, he blinked and continued.

"When I was nine, I met a man named Gavin Conners. He was ex special forces, ran a Youth Center several blocks from where we lived. He was a big man, about Josiah's size with black hair and these electric blue eyes that seemed to see right through you to your very soul. And he was smooth. Like Ezra smooth. Everyone loved him.

I didn't normally go that far from home, but on the day that I met him, I was being chased by some bullies and ended up in the area. I ducked into the center to hide from them and Gavin was only one there at the time. He figured out what was happening right away and was real nice to me. Gave me cookies and juice and talk to me for a while. We really hit off. Like I said, everyone loved him.

When one of the volunteers showed up, Gavin walked me home and met mom, then surprised the both of us by asking if I'd like to come to the center two or three times a week and earn a little money doing odd jobs for him. Didn't take much to convince mom that A) it would be good for me and B) we could use the extra money. So, three times a week, I went to the center and Gavin could give me things to do. He even started teaching me basic self defense to help me with the bullies. Over the years, I got pretty advanced. He was a great teacher."

'So that explained it,' Vin thought. He had seen, on more than one occasion, flashes of impressive skill that had appeared when JD was forced into hand to hand combat with a suspect or even when simply sparing. What he hadn't understood was why JD would hide such skill, but hadn't felt comfortable asking, figuring that if the kid was choosing to hide it, then there was likely a good reason for it.

"Over the next year," JD continued, "we got pretty close. I actually came to think of him like a father. We spent a lot of time together, especially over the summer." Another smile crossed his lips as he remembered good times. "One day, when I was ten, I was working at the center when this man came in asking for Gavin. I went back to Gavin's office and told him there was a cop asking for him. Gavin went to talk to him and after he left, Gavin asked me how I'd known that the guy was a cop since he wasn't in uniform. Told him I could spot a cop anytime, anywhere."

He smirked a little and pointed to his eye. "Cops, be they clean or dirty, all have a certain look in their eyes. Just gotta know what to look for. Well, this *really* impressed Gavin and he asked if I wanted to earn some more money doing pick up and delivery for a side business he ran."

Another smirk crossed his lips. "I asked if he wanted me to deliver his dope for him or just pick up the money. Surprised hell out of him. I was ten not stupid. I'd known for a long time that Gavin was running drugs from the center using some of the other kids. Mom had been sick for a couple of months by that point and I knew things were probably going to get a lot harder. We'd need the money and I really didn't care what I did to get it as long as I did. So, Gavin brought me in. Turned out his operation was a lot bigger than I actually knew. Not only was he into drug running, but he was also into fencing, numbers racketeering and weapons dealing. Again, didn't much care what he was up to. All I cared about was helping mom out.

Two or three weeks went by when Gavin decided to surprise us again by getting involved in mom's care. He made sure she got to all her doctor's appointments and that she got the medications she needed." JD chuckled. "She actually asked the pastor of our church if she could nominate Gavin for sainthood." He paused wiped at moist eyes, letting the silence stretch for a few minutes before he continued.

"Couple months passed and things were going real well. Gavin kept me on deliveries and running messages around since I was so good at avoiding getting caught in any traps, though he tended to send one or two older kids with me to keep the bullies away and help out in case there *was* any trouble. Every now and then, I'd hear about one of the other kids getting nabbed by the cop and I wondered why none of them had ever rolled over on Gavin. I mean, yeah, the guy was amazing and did inspire some pretty strong loyalty but to actually go to juvie for him?"

JD shrugged. "Given our relationship, I'd have probably gone to juvie, but I really couldn't figure out why these other kids would. Until Jake Corbin. Almost three months had gone by when Gavin called a meeting. The other kids all looked real nervous, like they knew something was about to go down. Gavin... He had this look in his eyes. It was the same look mom would get when she knew I had done something wrong but wanted me to admit it myself. Gavin started talking about loyalty and family and how incredibly important they were. And how disappointed he was that a member of *our* family had shown him...us...disloyalty by taking more than his fair share. Said that if whoever it was stepped forward and took responsibility, that he would be lenient with them.

It took a few minutes, but then this older kid, Jake Corbin, stepped up and admitted that he was the one. Gavin had obviously already knew. At least, it was obvious to me. He smiled and there was this look in his eyes that I didn't understand. He went up to Jake and started telling him how proud he was that Jake had been man enough to tell the truth and own up to his mistakes. And then he...he snapped Jake's neck. It was like breaking a twig, I could actually hear the bone break. I was so stunned that I never heard Gavin speak again or notice the other kids leave. I just stared into Jake Corbin's completely sightless eyes from where he lay on the floor. I don't think he ever knew what hit him. One second he was looking so relieved and the next...nothing.

Next thing I know, I'm in the room Gavin slept in, having a shot of whiskey poured into me and Gavin's telling me that everything's all right." JD snorted. "'Everything's all right.' He'd just killed a kid like he was nothing more than a fly and he figured everything was all right. I asked him why he did it, especially when he promised he'd be lenient. And Gavin...he just smiled and said that he *had* been lenient. He'd known all along that Jake was being disloyal and if he hadn't stepped up, then Gavin would have beaten the hell out of him first before killing him. Either way the kid was gonna die. See, no one showed disloyalty to him without severe punishment. *Ever.* Which sure explained why none of the kids who got pinched by the cops ever rolled over on him. Turns out he had a dark side to him. A *really* dark side."

JD paused again, and Vin stomach clenched as he watched the body language of his friend. It screamed that he was about to reveal some seriously bad stuff and Vin had to stomp down on the desire to stop the younger man. To give him a choice to stop or continue only if he wanted to. But he couldn't. The story had to be told, no matter how grisly and horrible it might get.

Goddamit!

JD drew in a quick breath, then started talking again, eyes glued to the table, voice strained. "He told me that he knew I would always be loyal to him and that I was his favorite. That I was...special. He started to...touch me and said that he knew I was special from the very moment he first laid eyes on me. Which was why he took such an interest in me. I...I tried to make him stop but he wouldn't. He just...kept going. So much stronger than me..."

JD squeezed his eyes shut, hands curling into tight fists, biting his lower lip so hard he drew blood. "A...afterwards, he told me that I...that I was his now. That I would always be his. That it was a good thing too, cause he took care of what was his and what was important to me was important to him. That being my mother."

The softest of sobs escaped his lips and he took a few seconds to regain control before continuing. "I knew the threat for what it was. I couldn't take care of my mother on my own and without him...without him she wouldn't get everything she needed. And she was gonna get a whole lot worse before she got better. If she got better at all." He swallowed hard. "So...I pretended nothing was happening. That everything was the way it was before. Got real good at it, too. Even when he was smacked me around, which he did do on occasion, it was easy to deceive everyone. Had a lot of run ins with bullies, after all."

God! Ezra had been right in his suspicions! Only, it hadn't been Danny Erickson delivering the abuse Ezra had alluded to, but the very man JD had trusted and come to see as a father. Vin felt physically sick. His own childhood hadn't been a picnic, but at least he had never suffered from *that* kind of torment. The question Buck had voiced on the day JD had told them about Danny Erickson echoed in his mind. How *had* JD turned out the way he did after all he'd suffered through? It was nothing short of a miracle. His attention was pulled back to JD as the boy continued with his terrible tale.

"When I was thirteen, I met a girl. Allison Jefferies." A smile touched his lips. "She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Long, golden brown hair and sky blue eyes that one could happily get lost in for days. And her smile...God she had such a beautiful smile. Made your heart soar to see it. She was kind and seriously smart. Wanted to be a doctor when she grew up and was always reading up on the latest medical stuff." He chuckled. "She and Nathan would have got on real well. We got very close. Hell, we were only thirteen and I knew that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I had never loved anyone like I loved her. Not even to this day. I never will.

Even Gavin liked her. Had her help him teach first aid at the center, even let her act as a nurse for minor injuries when kids had accidents with the gym equipment or from sparing each other or something.

One day, we were hanging out, just the two of us. We were at the top of these stairs that led down into a park and this guy ran by, bumping into Allison and knocking her off balance. She fell down the stairs and ended up with a concussion and a broken arm. Guy never even stopped and he was wearing a hoodie, so I never actually got a look at him. Allison spent a couple days in the hospital, and when she got out, I went to visit her at home since she couldn't go out for a while.

Gavin had sent her a dozen white roses and a card that read, 'Sorry to hear of your injuries. Know that the Angel Abaddon is near and will soon wrap you in his embrace and all will be well.'"

He raised his eyes to meet Vin's as he spoke and Vin froze at the familiar words. His stomach clenched again but he still kept himself from speaking. Wasn't entirely sure he could anyway. Dear God!

"We both thought it was a real nice gesture and I told him so when I saw him next," JD continued. "He just smiled and said she was a real sweet girl and to make sure I brought her by once she was free from house arrest."

He swallowed hard again, eyes returning to the spot on the table he had spent most of his story staring at. "I should have seen it," he whispered. "I should have known something was off. But she'd been with us for months and I had no reason to... When her parents finally let her out of the house again, we went to the center so she could thank Gavin for the flowers herself. No one else was there at the time and Gavin took us into the back for a snack and to 'catch up.' That's when he started to get weird and I realized that something wasn't right.

Allison was looking at some medical magazines Gavin had brought in and I was sitting at a table with Gavin. From where he was seated, he could see both of us and he was looking at her as he spoke to me. He commented on what a fine young woman she was and that any young man would be real lucky to have her. I agreed and he looked at me then and asked if I honestly thought that I had any kind of shot with her. It was obvious that I was in love with her, but did she love me? As more than just a friend...a brother?

'Let's find out,' he said. He called out to her and went over, smiling down at her as he put an arm around her and turned her to face me. I...I started to get scared. He had that look in his eyes again. That same look he'd had when he killed Jake Corbin. I...I should have done something but I was frozen. He asked if Allison if she knew that I loved her. Real love, not brotherly love. And she...she smiled and nodded. She never noticed that anything was wrong. She was so smart and she never realized...

Gavin asked if she loved me the same way. She looked at him and started to nod, but Gavin stopped her and told her to look at me and say it. So...she did. She looked at me with those beautiful eyes and that angelic smile and told me she loved me. That she would always love me."

Tears started slipping down JD's cheeks and a little sob escaped as he said, "G-Gavin smiled at that. He stared right at me as he leaned down to her and said how sweet that was, but there was one problem. I was his. And then... then he cut her throat. I never even saw the knife, it just came out of nowhere and spilled her blood. I-I'll never forget the way her eyes bulged...the way her hands went to her throat trying to hold her blood in as it poured out of her.

I screamed and ran to her as she fell to the floor. She looked at me...eyes begging me to help her and the only thing I could do was hold her." Another sob escaped and he struggled for control before continuing. "She...she died in my arms and my soul died with her. I had gotten so good at pretending that nothing was going on that I had actually forgotten Gavin's claim on me. And it...it got her killed. He ripped me away from her and told me I should have heeded his warning. That the Angel Abaddon would not have come for her if I had remembered that I was his.

He beat me then. Beat me so bad that I spent three weeks in the hospital. He told the cops that he'd been out on an errand and when he got back, he found the place ripped up and Allison and I in the back room. Allison was dead and I was barely hanging on. Figured we had walked in on whoever had 'vandalized' the center. I...I was so filled with grief and terrified about what he might do to my mom that I told the cops I couldn't remember anything. Considering the head trauma I had, they bought it and didn't push me.

It almost happened again some time later, with a boy named Aaron. I had built a bit of wall around myself after Allison and he managed to take it down and draw me out. We got close, which I thought was okay since he was another boy but...then he had an 'accident' too. Soon as I saw the flowers and the card, I cooled our friendship. Took it to a level of nothing more than causal. Confused the hell out of him and hurt him a lot but..."

JD closed his eyes, wiping roughly at the tears on his cheeks. "I've never forgiven myself for getting her killed," he whispered. "Pushing Aaron away saved his life and that was all that mattered. I Promised myself then...promised *her* that I would never let myself fall in love again...get close to *anyone* even after Gavin was gone. I've managed to keep part of that promise, even after all these years. I let myself get close to you guys, but I've never even *thought* of letting myself have what I wanted with her. That hope died when she did."

Vin swallowed and wiped at his own moist eyes, his heart breaking for JD. He thought of Chris and what he had suffered with the loss of his wife and child. What he was *still* suffering. But the man had not gone so far as to deny himself another chance at love and happiness. Mary and Billy Travis had become important figures in his life. He still had hope even after such tragedy. To think that JD, who was still so young and had so many years ahead of him, actually planned to spend them without the joy of a wife and children...

He shook himself, drawing in a soft breath as move onward in his narrative. "Throughout all this," he said, "were appearances by Danny Erickson." He finally looked up, meeting Vin's eyes. "I never lied about him. Everything I told you guys about Danny was true. Except for one thing. He never killed his friends."

Vin blinked, surprised by that, but said nothing as JD continued. "By the time of his last attack on me, I was pretty advanced in fighting. They didn't just beat me to make me more compliant. It was because I actually fought back and didn't make it easy on them. That pissed Danny off something fierce. He hated fighters. Was probably what made him go as far as he did on me.

The attack actually upset Gavin as much as it did my mother. He was...real supportive though the whole thing. It was like the early days again and he was more of a father than ever. When we found out that Danny wouldn't be charged, Gavin was more furious than anyone else. He looked at me and promised me that Danny would never hurt me again. That he would protect me. I felt so safe and loved...it was wonderful, I never wanted it to end.

It was several weeks later when the bodies of Danny's friends were found and he was charged with their murders. He denied killing them but no one believed him, not with his history. I was out of the hospital by then and in therapy for my leg. Gavin had come to pick me up and was watching with this proud look cause I was working so hard and doing pretty well. I was exhausted so he took me right home and put me to bed while mom was making dinner. He told me how proud he was of me and how much I meant to him. Then he dropped a bombshell."

JD's eyes lost focus again as he recalled the memory. "He leaned in real close, his hand on my head and whispered to me that Danny's claims of innocence were true. That he really *hadn't* killed his friends. Gavin himself did. He knew how to stage a scene...plant evidence. He punished Danny's friends for their part in the attack on me, then framed Danny for it. He had a couple of friends on the inside who would handle the rest of Danny's punishment themselves."

A shiver raced through his body. "The look in his eyes when he told me that *no one* hurt what was his and got away with it... I'd never been so elated and terrified at the same time. On the one hand, he was acting like a parent protecting his child. On the other hand...he was acting like a rabid wolf toward an invader of his territory."

He gave Vin a look was almost desperate for understanding. "I knew it was wrong, but I went along with it anyway. If Danny got off..."

Vin nodded, reaching out for the first time and grasping JD's hand. JD swallowed and squeezed, taking the strength Vin was offering him. "You know what happened then. He was tried, convicted, and sent to his Hell. And I never thought of him again until I heard he'd been killed."

JD rubbed his free hand over his eyes again, then abruptly stood and moved to the fridge, pulling out two beers. He hand Vin one, opened his own and took a long drink. Vin took a large gulp of his own, shaken by what he'd heard so far and wondering how JD hadn't ended up in a mental hospital long ago. There was several minutes of silence, then JD started up once more.

"Just after my sixteenth birthday, something happened. I went to the center after school like I usually did and found it torn apart. There was blood everywhere and no sign of Gavin. So, I called the cops and a search was started. Gavin was put on the missing persons list. Months went by with no sign of him at all and, eventually, he was declared missing and presumed dead. There was a memorial for him and everything. It was...so strange, seeing so many people there mourning a man they didn't even really know. Not like I knew him. And it was such a...a shock that he was gone. It felt like I could breathe again for the first time in years.

Turned out he'd left me and mom some money. You know that I graduated high school early, so I took some of that money to use for collage and the rest went to continuing the fight for mom's health, which wasn't going very well. She'd been sick for several years now was getting worse. Her care had fallen to me alone and...well...you pretty much know what happened."

JD paused, taking a slower sip of his beer and Vin realized the story was coming to a close. There was just a little more that needed to be told.

"That phone call that day," JD said quietly. "The one from my friend back east that I said was about Danny Erickson, obviously wasn't. Mike was calling to warn me that...that Gavin had turned up. Alive. Told me that he didn't know where I was yet and wasn't sure if he'd actually come looking for me or not but wanted me to know just in case he did pop up unexpectedly. I panicked. Knowing that Gavin was alive and knowing he probably *would* come for me..."

Vin reached over and took JD's hand again. "You planned on running right then and there didn't you?" he asked quietly.

JD bit his lip. "I had hoped I wouldn't have to," he whispered back. "But I did start making plans, yes. That new program I was so obsessed with? It was to help protect you guys. To keep him from getting detailed information on you from our systems. To prevent surveillance. Didn't tell you guys, but I had also secretly tied it into the surveillance system in the rest of the building. It would detect and attack any outside attempts to access the security network. Prevent anyone from watching you. Prevent *Gavin* from watching you.

On the day that Buck was hit by the car, I was starting to think that maybe Gavin wasn't looking for me. The hit and run...I couldn't know for sure so I was still holding out hope. Then the flowers and card came and I knew he had found me. I knew I had to run. It was the only way to protect Buck...to protect the rest of you. He wouldn't hurt you guys if I wasn't there. When I got back to the condo after leaving Buck, I found a note with an address and time on it. He wanted me to meet him at 1pm the next day.

So, I packed what I could, made that video message, then hacked into every government system there was and deleted every record of me. Pictures, fingerprints...everything. It was morning by the time I finished, so I hurried to the office to leave my resignation and the message before I left town. Thought I wasn't gonna make it when Chris showed up, but luckily, he got that phone call and I was able to go."

"JD, why didn't you just tell us what was going on?" Vin asked gently.

JD's eyes widened, then shame flashed through them and he looked away, pulling his hand free and hugging himself tightly. "I couldn't," he whispered. "You guys...you guys were my family. My brothers and I just couldn't bear the thought of you knowing all...all *that.*"

'Ah,' Vin thought and realization filled him. Shifting closer, he put his hand on JD's arm and said, "You were just a kid, JD. What he did to you...it wasn't your fault and none of us would have thought any different of you. You could have come to us. We'd have helped you...protected you. We still will."

JD looked up sharply. "What?"

"You need to come home, JD," Vin answered. "This guy needs to be put on ice and we can do that..."

"No!" JD exclaimed, jumping up, his chair falling to the floor in his haste. His eyes were wide and wild as he added, "Haven't you been listening *at all?* You don't know him! He wants me back and he'll have set up shop in Denver and been keeping a close eye on all of you, waiting to see if you'll lead him to me! He fired the warning shot against Buck! If I go back, he'll know! And if I go back and not straight to him, he'll kill Buck and then go after the rest of you one by one!" His dark eyes flashed as he hissed, "I will *not* watch any of you die because of me, I won't!"

"Damn it, JD!" Frustrated, Vin stood and glared back. "You're not a kid anymore! You're a grown man and a highly trained federal agent! Gavin is *not* the boogie-man! He's *just* a man! A man that you can face, backed up by your six brothers!" He stepped closer, grabbing JD's wrist. "He can't hurt you anymore, JD. We won't let him!"

They stared at each other for a moment, Vin trying to will JD to see reason. To accept Vin's words as fact. His heart sank, however, when JD shook his head, yanked his arm free and backed away. "I told you everything, Vin, now go home. Tell the others if you want, but I'm not coming back. I survived him once, I can't do it again. Go home."

Turning, he started toward the bedroom at the back of the apartment but froze in his tracks when Vin called out, "What about the kids, JD?"

Without turning, JD asked, "What?"

"The kids," Vin repeated. "You set he would have set up shop in Denver while waiting to get a bead on you. That means he's back to using kids for his operations, right?" Seeing JD tense up, Vin swept in for what he knew would be a low blow. "You're a right cold bastard, JD, if you're willing to let him do to some other poor kid what he did to you."

JD spun around, eyes wide with shock and anger. Vin stared back at him unwaveringly. "Well? How bout it, JD? You willing to let more innocent kids suffer and *die* so you don't have to face him? You ain't the man I thought you were if that's the way it is."

JD's hands clenched into tight fists and Vin watched the war rage through the kid's eyes. Finally, JD closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped in obvious defeat. "All right," he whispered. "All right. I'll come home."

Vin didn't smile. Instead, he crossed the distance between them and drew JD into his arms. "It'll be all right, kid," he breathed. "We won't let anything happen to you. We'll take him down and then get back to doing what we do best. You'll see."

JD didn't reply. He just clung to Vin for several moments before pulling away and saying quietly, "You'd better go get your bag if you're staying the night. You did bring a bag, didn't you?" Vin nodded and JD said, "Go get it and I'll reheat the pizza. Somehow, I'm still hungry after all this. We'll...we'll get the first flight out in the morning."

"All right," Vin agreed. He squeezed JD's arm, then turned and headed down to his car to get his bag. When he got back, JD had the pizza and two fresh beers waiting. Smiling, Vin joined the younger man at the table and they dug into their dinner.

When he started to feel woozy and incredibly sleepy, Vin thought that the stress of the day must have finally been catching up with him. He looked up at JD to comment, but stopped when he saw the way JD was looking at him as he his sipped his beer. It was an expectant expression sitting in dull eyes and it set warning bells clanging in Vin's head. He looked at his beer, his body growing heavy and his vision growing fuzzy.

Oh, JD, no...

"I'm sorry, Vin," JD's voice came from next to him and he felt himself being pulled to his feet and guided toward JD's bedroom. "Call me a coward if you want," JD continued, "but I just can't do it." He gently guided Vin down on to his bed, then knelt down, resting a hand lightly on Vin's head. "You'll be okay," he murmured. "When you wake up, I'll be gone. You won't find me again. I love you very much. Tell the others that I miss them and love them, too, and that I'm sorry." His hand lingered for a moment, then he stood and moved away. Vin tried to fight the drug, but it was a losing battle. He listened to JD moving about the room, then slipped into darkness.

tbc


End file.
